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I never heard her complain 
her young woman’s life of hardship with two kids
she said Cheryl and I would soon be gone
our high school done then college away 
she didn’t want to be alone
wanted someone who didn’t drink or smoke
Scott was divorced after twenty three years
didn’t drink smoke or swear 
a Christian man they were engaged
my internal objections externalized 
coughing fits
coughing choking I couldn’t breathe 
gulping and gasping for air when I was 15
the doctor observed my illness
perhaps a psychosomatic cause.