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July 11
’91’s Hawaiian solar eclipse
the ultimate family vacation
Excel spreadsheet planned meticulously in vertical hours
several copies printed in color
Paulie and I would fly to Honolulu and Big Island
afterwards would meet daughter and wife in Phoenix
tour the grand canyon
anxiety said Dr. Chan can be overcome
de-sensitizing began a couple months ahead
the airline gave a tour of the plane and pilot’s cabin but
day-of panic something unforeseen the seatbelt click
anxiety struggled mightily and unable to continue
got off the plane
dear wife said I should go anyway so I flew alone
Paulie kicked the car seat dangerously on the drive home
landed in the airport lounge I drank beer
the next flight returned
the psychologist agreed
take an alternate vacation right away so
we drove to a condo in the Outer Banks
when we arrived daughter and I went for groceries
Paulie beat-up his mom in the kitchen pretty bad
that week I taught 8 year old daughter swimming
pelicans flew low
I said we’re in trouble now
we drank booze at night
memorably mercifully awakened by wife
sunrise several times
on the highway home maybe Jersey
attempted viewing the partial eclipse.